This is a story of a young adult who experienced physical and psychological abuse from a parent, and how he managed to break the cycle and have an independent and happy life.

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Case Study 2:

Mr H’s Story - “A year ago I had a stroke, which left me partially paralysed. I was lucky enough to have carers who came to my home three times a day, and my wife cared for me the rest of the time. Unfortunately, after a while, my wife became increasingly aggressive and impatient with me. One night, when I had asked her to help me to the toilet, she pushed me and I fell and hit my head. She then helped me up, but then slapped me across the face.

I didn’t want to call Social Services; I didn’t want my wife to get into trouble as I knew she was only lashing out because she was so stressed. I contacted Action on Elder Abuse helpline instead, and they advised me to work out a schedule with family and friends so my wife would get some free time and feel less isolated. With the help of my family and friends I was able to develop the schedule and my life at home with my wife improved significantly.”

Case Study 1:

Yvonne’s Story – “It was when he threatened to hurt the kids that I knew I had to get out. Up until then it was only me he hit and I could put up with that. I thought that staying was best for the children’s sake, and that having their dad around was important. I never imagined he’d lay a finger on them.

I went to a friend’s but he found me straight away. So I went to another friend in a different town and he still found me. I went to a cousin he didn’t even know about and changed my mobile number but I knew he’d find me eventually. I was always looking over my shoulder, worrying about it.

Then I heard about Refuge and I called the helpline. A couple of days later I was in one of their safe houses. It was full of women there who had been in violent relationships and it really helped to know I wasn’t the only one.

I also saw a Refuge psychologist – and I am still seeing her. She is helping me understand that Mark’s behaviour was not my fault. Yet no matter how many times she says it, I find it hard not to feel guilty. I thought I could change him, I really did, but now I know it was all about him and nothing I did would have made a difference.

I’m so pleased I can see that now. It means I can feel good about myself again.”

Case Study 2:

Coercive Control - This video features types of behaviours and common examples of coercive control.

The following types of behaviour are common examples of coercive control:

• isolating you from your friends and family
• controlling how much money you have and how you spend it
• repeatedly putting you down, calling you names or telling you that you are worthless
• monitoring your activities and your movements
• threatening to harm or kill you or your child
• threatening to publish information about you or to report you to the police or the authorities
• damaging your property or household goods
• forcing you to take part in criminal activity or child abuse
• isolating you from sources of support 

Coercive control builds slowly and often escalates over time. 

Case Study 3:

Honour Based Violence - Right to choose: the consequences of forced marriage

For more case studies and useful information on Domestic Violence and Abuse, please visit our Adult Safeguarding and Domestic Abuse webpage.

Please watch a young adult share her story of when she was sexually abused at a house-party, what she did to get support and how this helped her heal the emotional turmoil she experienced that night.

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Mrs B’s Story - “I have been living on my own ever since my husband died in 2008, I am 83 and they tell me I’m quite frail. I have two sons, the eldest, Michael, is my primary care giver and keen business-man, and Stuart, a teacher who lives down south with his wife and two children. Stuart is a good boy and calls me every day to see how I am, due to his location he cannot visit me as often as he would like. Michael doesn’t come and visit me much, and when he does he is very impatient with me, calling me stupid, laughing at me for not being able get to bathroom quick enough, then becoming very reluctant to help me change when I do not get there on time.

Michael told me that because of his job being long hours, he may not be able to visit me as often, so to keep me from doing anything “stupid” or “embarrassing” he took away my keys so I couldn’t leave the house on my own, and took my mobile phone so I couldn’t “bother anyone with my nonsense.” I felt so helpless! I was worried Stuart would find out and get Michael into trouble, I didn’t want them to argue, I love both of my boys very much and I never wanted to be a burden. Luckily, only a day had passed when I heard the door open, thinking it was Michael I was relieved that he had changed his mind about keeping me inside all the while. But it was Stuart! Stuart had driven 100 miles to come and make sure I was alright, as I wasn’t answering his calls and Michael was ignoring him too. He told me how worried he was about me, and when I told Stuart what had happened he got ever so angry. I told him I didn’t want anything to happen to Michael, as he was just overwhelmed with trying to provide for my care needs as well as working a full-time job. Stuart agreed that he would not get the police involved, he said; “You cannot carry on like this mother, if Michael is unable to give you the care that you need then we must get Social Services involved to see if a care plan can be put in place instead.” I couldn’t help but agree.

I was surprised when social services visited us that afternoon. They were kind to me, very respectful of my wishes of not getting Michael into trouble. They listened to my needs and wants, and didn’t boss me around. They arranged for trained care workers to visit me twice a day, and to review my progress in a few months to see how I’m coping. Stuart is much happier and visits me once a fortnight now and even Michael is a lot more relaxed and pleasant to me, now the pressure if off of him.”

A story from a young adult who experienced financial abuse from a partner. This is part of the “My Money, My Life” campaign.

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Case Study 2:

Mrs R’s Story – “At her son's request, Mrs R, an older woman, sold her property, gave her son the profits, and moved into a 'granny annex' attached to his house. After a year though, the son said they could no longer afford the house and moved to a smaller one with no space for his mother, so Mrs R ended up living in their dining room. Eight months later, the son said the house was too crowded and contacted social services to discuss putting her into a residential home.

Mrs R contacted the Citizens Advice Bureau for advice. As a result, a solicitor wrote to the son about the situation. The son then agreed to give his mother a lump sum which meant that she was able to move out of his home and into sheltered housing.”

This video is the story of Daniel and Weronika who were victims of Modern Slavery in Britain.

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Case Study 2:

Mike’s Story – “The financial crisis cost me my job. I slept rough. Two men approached me. They offered me work near London. I shared an old dirty shed with a tin roof with another man.

Every day we were picked up by a van at 7am and then knocked on people’s doors asking if they wanted any work doing, digging patios or making drive-ways. We were picked-up at 9pm: if we didn’t get back in time, we’d get beaten. Everyone was afraid. Some got beaten up often, punched in the head or kicked. We worked 6 days a week unpaid. Someone tried to escape, but was beaten with a spanner.

One Sunday the police raided. I had never heard of trafficking before. When I looked around, I saw how ill everyone looked, skinny and unwell, as if we had all been in a concentration camp. For the first time in my life I am now being cared for, thanks to the Salvation Army. I am still nervous of going out alone.”

This video tells the stories of people that have experienced discrimination in regards to their mental-health.

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Case Study 2:

From Cheshire Police – “An Asian female was walking home when she was approached by a mother and son who started to shout racial abuse at her. The female was offended and distressed by this and immediately went home and reported the matter to the Police.

Police Officers were deployed and it very soon came to light that the offenders were neighbours of the female, and that there had been a longstanding neighbour dispute between the parties.

The incident was further complicated as it transpired that a number of agencies and authorities, including the police, had already had dealings with the victim and the alleged offenders.

As a result of enquiries made both mother and son were arrested and subsequently charged with a Racially Aggravated Public order offence.”

James' Story - "James was a university professor who had travelled the world.  He retired following a stroke that resulted in left side weakness and a loss in speech.  James was moved into nursing care.

James felt that he was unable to make independent choices in his own time.  He felt the care was regimented with no flexibility. James would often go hungry, unable to finish his meal before staff took it away.  He could not choose what colour shirt he wanted to wear that day.  James would often spend all day inside. Evening activities were not provided by the care home.  James’ day would often end at 6.30pm.

The staff always felt busy.  James felt that they were more interested in getting the job done quickly over listening to his needs or reading what was written in his care plan. 

Everyday felt like the last."

Mrs S’s Story – “Mrs S was referred following a concern about an incident that took place at the nursing home she was living in. Mrs S has very advanced dementia and is no longer able to communicate. She also has very reduced mobility and needs full assistance with all personal care mobility.

One day Mrs S was found to have fallen out of her electric recliner chair. She needed an overnight stay in hospital and had extensive bruising to her face. Understandably her family were very upset by this and provided her social worker with a number of photographs of the incident to illustrate how traumatic it had been for their mother.

An investigation into the care home revealed inadequate staffing levels in the area where Mrs S lived. It also revealed that staff had left very dependent and confused residents unattended. Further investigations found other areas such as risk assessments at the care home were also very poor.

The family were involved and understood that we take these issues very seriously. The care home had tried to down play the incident and claimed that the family were intimidating.

However the social worker reported that the family were just concerned at what they perceived as serious neglect. The social worker met with the family to take in all their concerns. Following an investigation at the care home the social worker arranged a meeting with her team manager present to address these issues, inviting the family and the home manager.

This presented a firm and assertive approach towards the home, but without any party feeling outside the process or under attack. This resolved the matter amicably.

A further review was held with the daughter present to ensure that all information had been fed back and the family were satisfied with the outcome. The family felt empowered and involved and Mrs S’s needs remained central to the process throughout.”

This video is Keith’s story about his hoarding experiences, which is an example of self-neglect.

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Case Study 2:

Ms J’s Story – “Ms J is 69 and lives alone in a council tenancy. She is known to adult social care and mental health services. She had a worker in mental health care coordination, until she was closed in the last month.
She was admitted to hospital following a fall which resulted in injury to her arm. She was reported to be under the influence of alcohol and to be covered in urine and faeces.

Ms J self- discharged herself from hospital. The Police did a welfare call to Ms J and submitted an Adult Concern to the local authority, reporting that she was still in the same condition as when she left hospital and that her home was also dirty and soiled, with lots of empty alcohol bottles and cans.
Helen and Karen from the adult social care visited Ms J. Ms J’s ex-partner Mark had cleared the property and put the soiled bedding into the washing machine. Ms J’s bed was very soiled and could not be totally cleaned. Mark said he had some money to buy a second hand bed, however the community resource he was to go to was now closed. Mark was signposted to a new furniture service to buy a bed. Helen also picked up bedding from the Foodbank to have in reserve.

Ms J did not want to attend formal services about her alcohol issues as she was too embarrassed and did not feel that there would be other people her age there. She did agree to a referral to a floating support service. It was agreed that the floating support service would see Ms J every Wednesday morning and they would look at local groups to keep Ms J busy during the day as well as strategies to manage Ms J’s alcohol use. It was agreed that the floating support service would update Adult Social Care on Ms J’s progress.”